On the evening of the 4th of July, while everyone else was shooting fireworks and eating watermelon, Ray was crying in the bathroom getting a shot. The 4th of July was the day he had to start getting a shot again every night. Ray has to get that shot to help boost his immune system each time we finish a course of chemo. So we've done this before..... but it has not gotten easier.
The only thing worse than watching your child get a shot every night, is being the one who has to give him the shot. That's right. I am the evil nurse mommy with the needle. It's awful. You know how your kids are at the doctors office getting immunizations? Just imagine that only every night...in your own home...and you're doing it. I hate it. He hates it. He hates me.
One night after Joe and I had been locked in the bathroom with him for about ten minutes (we have to keep the other kids out to protect us all) Ruby was obviously feeling jealous over the attention Ray was getting. She said, "No one cares about me." I hugged her and talked to her about it. Then I asked very seriously if she would like a shot too. She thought about it for a minute, but said no.. of course. I took her with me to the store later and spent some girl time with her.
But it's never enough.
This is hard on all of us.
But I don't know why I'm being such a downer tonight because this has been a pretty good week. Ray was in the hospital last week for chemo and met a boy about his age who lives close to us and is so sweet. Spencer is literally the first child Ray has ever met with cancer. Isn't that crazy? He's up there surrounded by sick kids, but they are basically quarantined in their rooms and never see each other. It was kind of relief for him to know that he wasn't alone. It was a really special thing. Ray and Spencer were allowed to play X-Box together and I wish you all could have seen those two beautiful bald boys, all hooked up to IV's and feeding tubes, sitting there playing a video game as if nothing was wrong. I'll never forget it....I'll never forget any of this.
And coming home this week has been much better. His side effects weren't nearly as intense this time and we actually had some great family times here in Riverton and in Provo. So we are okay.
In other news.....
My sister Darlyn sported the same geeky braces as me at our family reunion.
Metal Mouths unite!!
The only thing worse than watching your child get a shot every night, is being the one who has to give him the shot. That's right. I am the evil nurse mommy with the needle. It's awful. You know how your kids are at the doctors office getting immunizations? Just imagine that only every night...in your own home...and you're doing it. I hate it. He hates it. He hates me.
One night after Joe and I had been locked in the bathroom with him for about ten minutes (we have to keep the other kids out to protect us all) Ruby was obviously feeling jealous over the attention Ray was getting. She said, "No one cares about me." I hugged her and talked to her about it. Then I asked very seriously if she would like a shot too. She thought about it for a minute, but said no.. of course. I took her with me to the store later and spent some girl time with her.
But it's never enough.
This is hard on all of us.
But I don't know why I'm being such a downer tonight because this has been a pretty good week. Ray was in the hospital last week for chemo and met a boy about his age who lives close to us and is so sweet. Spencer is literally the first child Ray has ever met with cancer. Isn't that crazy? He's up there surrounded by sick kids, but they are basically quarantined in their rooms and never see each other. It was kind of relief for him to know that he wasn't alone. It was a really special thing. Ray and Spencer were allowed to play X-Box together and I wish you all could have seen those two beautiful bald boys, all hooked up to IV's and feeding tubes, sitting there playing a video game as if nothing was wrong. I'll never forget it....I'll never forget any of this.
And coming home this week has been much better. His side effects weren't nearly as intense this time and we actually had some great family times here in Riverton and in Provo. So we are okay.
In other news.....
My sister Darlyn sported the same geeky braces as me at our family reunion.
Metal Mouths unite!!
8 comments:
Shannan, I can't imagine having to give my child shots. I am sorry you are going through this. You guys are always in our prayers.
You are a wonderful mommy and Ray knows it. I know you'd like to sprout a clone of yourself, but don't worry...you're doing great. You have a right to downer moments! It's called being human. You are an AMAZING mother....AND you make us ALL want to be metal mouths if we can be as beautiful as you and Darlyn are. Keep your chin up. Love ya.
Your posts always make me cry, feel the spirit, and make me grateful. Kyle and I shed a few tears talking about Ray this weekend. You already know this, but we think of you every single day.
Hey Metal Mouth, hang in there, ok?
Virtual hugs
We love you guys! Hang in there. I'm so proud of you and Ray. You're really doing great. I think about you and pray for you all the time.
So sad for you. My whole family is praying for you and "little Ray" I hope times get better fast... really, really fast!!!
I LOVED the head shaving pics. You are surrounded by wonderful, caring people. Pretty blessed.
Shannan, I've been away from blog reading for far too long. And tonight I sobbed as I read your blog. I'm sad for your struggles and Ray's pain and for all of the difficult things which you are dealing with. I am thinking of Ray and you and Joe and your whole family today. I wish there were something I could do. If there is, let me know. Please.
When do you have to return to incarceration? I'm so relieved that he found himself a Spencer. What a blessing on this road. Love you.
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